And they lived happily ever after. Or not?

As I was planning a trip back to the US to be a bridesmaid for a really good friend of mine, it struck me the inane number of weddings I've attended in the condensed span of the last 2 to 3 years.

I'm at that generational crossroad, where people uncheck themselves from the singlehood list and sign up for (or in some cases, get drafted into) the married or married-with-kids list.

And the thought of it, is pretty freaking freaky.

Think about it: overnight, your life changes.

You acquire a new set of parents, a new extended family on top of your own. As if family drama isn't enough in one family (and every family has its fair share of drama), you now get double dosage, like it or not.

I've heard horror stories of in-laws, even before they officially become your in-laws. Every bride has an anecdote about her mother-in-law-to-be. It seems almost a baptism of fire to suffer a scuffle (metaphorical or not) with the other woman in your husband's life.

You can't just up and splurge on yourself because you feel like it. You can't just have your own social life, do what you want to do, whenever you want to do it.

You now have responsibilities. That's a pretty darned heavy 6-syllable word.

There's mortgage to be paid, financial planning for a lifetime of together-ness, future education fees for children yet-to-be-born.

People wish you a lifetime of happiness when you say "I do"; from a young age, we're all conditioned to believe that happy ever after is a given when the princess finds her knight in shining armour. The End. 

But they fail to talk about life after "The End", when the knight falls into sloppy disarray, becomes a fat, lazy couch potato and snores in his sleep. Worse still, he drools.

Or the princess becomes a naggy squat, constantly berating her useless husband for not doing this or that, retreating into the abyss of auntie-dom.

Let's not even get started on the children. As far as I've heard / seen, it gets worse before it gets better. And that's if it even gets better.

And it all starts when you take that leap of faith to spend the rest of your life with who you think / hope is your soul partner (well, that's my hope at least).

I am, of course, stereotyping and oversimplifying the nuances of marriage.  But I'm trying to make a point here.

I attended a wedding recently, and during the homily, the priest said to the couple, "If you don't remember anything from my homily today, just remember these 4 phrases, all 3 words each.

I was wrong;

I am sorry;

Please forgive me;

I love you.

And if you're right, just shut up."

And the congregation erupted in laughter. It was telling just by watching the nodding and knowing looks of the married couples present, that this was no laughing matter, that underneath the surface, this was indeed a much-needed antidote to complacency in a relationship.

Wise words indeed, particularly from a man who had taken a vow of chastity for the rest of his life.

Relationships are a constant work-in-progress. I do find it rather amusing that as human beings we spend effort and time on our jobs, on securing that next paycheck and upgrading ourselves to be better managers at work, more competent at our domain jobs. But we don't do the same for our relationships.

Then again, I'm guilty of such treason myself on occasion.

How many couples do you know have gone for couple enrichment programmes in the course of their marriage? How much investment do we put into our  relationships with unquantifiable ROI?

Little wonder that the romance fizzles out, the husband is more interested in his soccer game and the wife constantly asks where is the love.

Lest I fall into that trap (and horror of horrors, become an auntie), I'll be sure to be 100% ready when the time comes. Because it's going to take the next 50 years and more to keep it going. And I damned well be willing (and wanting) to do that.